Why aren't we talking about this?

Honestly, I NEED to know. I've sat around patiently for the past 10 years, waiting for a reasonable explanation, but no one's talkin. But, who has the answer? I don't even know who to ask. Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Joey (the techie at my school), Jeeves? And where did the name even come from? Where I come from, you'd get your mouth washed out with soap if you called someone this on the playground.

I mean, really, what the bleep is a "Wingding," and what is its function? Why are there 12 options of it in my font list? If only Arial could get there act together and create that many varieties. Certainly nobody has ever scrolled through and thought, "Oh good, I do have Wingdings 3." And to add insult to injury, Wingding's hipper more modern little brother has the audacity to take up even more space in my already tired list of options. Webdings, you are not welcome here. And on your way out, could you grab ESRI Crime Analysis and ESRI Enviro Hazard Incident (disturbing titles, no?) and any other font that doesn't have any kind of Latin-based alphabet?

If I did write Steve Jobs a letter, it would look something like this:

I'm glad I got that off my chest. That was emotionally exhausting. I'll save my question about why Words With Friends on the iPhone is quite possibly the most addictive substance on the planet for another day. Phew.