iLazy

I'm a gadget guru. I love them! I love all the things that robots can do for me. Recently, my "Rosie" (Jetsons reference), of choice is the (wait for it. . . ) iPhone. Please disregard any of the opinions about iPhones stated in Crackberry. I knew my life would be different with this little stocking stuffer, yep. But, I did not understand the degree to which my life would change.

But, the iPhone isn't the only thing making me a better person these days. There's so much great technology out there. At the same time, there are some really stupid ones. Open your Sky Mall magazine to reacquaint yourself with some of these, digital dog feeders, giant magnifying glasses, shower book protectors, etc. You get the picture.

Top 3 Cyborgs I can't live without. . . I imagine you can't either:

1. The Internet- I remember thinking, "I don't even know what people do on the Internet." I may have used the term "web," just because that's how the computer lab assistant phrased it back in the 90s. I'll admit that in 7th grade the sole function of the Internet for me, was to download and print pictures of Simon Rex (MTV VJ) on mtv.com. I out grew that phase, I mean really how immature? Now, I use the Internet to look at people from high school on facebook.

2. Email/text- Ugh, remember speaking to people on the phone, or worse in person? Because of this technology, I now have a slight panic attack if forced to call a number where someone besides the person I am trying to reach may answer the phone. Ghetto.

3. iPod- Having access to every song ever played in my lifetime is refreshing. I can't believe I ever sat next to the radio waiting to record a song on a cassette. How pathetic. Now, I get tired of a song after 22 seconds because I am so anxious to see what else that crazy shuffle feature can come up with. I can't wait to get my iPod implanted in my skull by A.D. 2020.

All in all the future has been okay. However, I am a little disappointed by the things not yet invented or made available for public use.

1. Hover boards- I think that we can all agree that Michael J. Fox had our mouths watering in BTTF 2. Apparently there is a fairytale of a story in which my friend Jennifer rode on a hover craft at an elementary school assembly circa '94. I've seen no evidence of its existence.

2. Teleporting- "Beam me up Scotty." The closest thing I have gotten to that is a confiscated laser light beam pen in my A4 class. Instead, I'm still sliding over paved roads like pioneers.

3. Hologram communication- Don't go telling me that Skype is the same. I want Lea (a little broken up due to signal) warning me in person. Is it too much to ask?

4. Outfit Computer- Whatever Cher was using in Clueless to get dressed every morning, I want.

Technology I am surprised is still around:

1. Phones with cords- There is one sitting on my desk.

2. Calculators- Until we learn to do math in our heads (never), this will have a place in every home office. We could also note this technology as the beginning of the dumbing of America, ah finally.

3. Overhead projectors- Most every teacher in the U.S. still uses these, and is completely dependent upon them.

4. Manual windows and door locks- How do I know these are still around? My 2003 Corolla still sports a more vintage system. No worries, in case of water submersion, I will be fine.

5. Bank Suction Tubes- This has 1970s future written all over it. However, somehow we can't seem to figure out another way to get the teller our driver's license and work check. Mind boggling.

Thank heavens the future has brought just enough technology to keep me from having to actually learn a trade. Everything one needs to know can be found in small doses on Wikipedia. Pheww.